Are you finding yourself in the position of needing to convince someone that your opinion or idea is a better way to handle things? Do you feel like you are not being listened to?

It is very frustrating to share your feelings with someone, whether it is a family member or a co-worker and not feel that you are being taken seriously. What can you do? How do you handle it?

One way would be to show them a different way. Behavior is critical. It proves a point.

Let’s take a common example of a patient and caregiver. The person in charge usually is the caregiver, even if you don’t feel very “in charge.” Tempers can flare and people can be upset for many reasons. A common complaint is that a patient is not trying to do things for themselves, and consistently asks the caregiver to do things that the caregiver believes that the patient can do for themselves. You are tired of talking about it and things can get ugly. Keep this in mind: the only thing you can control is what comes out of your mouth.

Before you get ready to say something that will irritate the person you are dealing with; stop yourself, count to 10 and say something like “I will be able to help you again in 30 minutes, let me set this timer and then you will know when 30 minutes is up.” Leave the timer by the patient. The result: you set new ground rules, without upsetting the situation. You have not ignored the need, but you have created an awareness of structure that was not there before. You “confuse them.” Just remember to “confuse them with kindness.” “Now let’s get going!” xo Sally