Age has a funny way of making people feel like they either need to give up or give in. For some people, it seems that they are just too tired to put up with more stress. For others, doing something different or the idea of setting a new goal at a later time in life may be uncomfortable because they don’t “see the point.” They may even feel that it isn’t worth it.
For the “Seniors” out there who feel that there are no more goals to meet or dreams to dream, we need for you to stop thinking like that.
If we stop dreaming or think that our lives cannot change to experience a sense of having more meaning, we begin a journey that I call “circling the drain.”
You know what happens when things circle the drain. They leave and take everything in their path down the drain with them. The same feeling can happen when you stop believing that there still is more out there for you to do or participate in.
Age brings the gift of knowledge and experience. My Mother used to say she went to the “School of Hard Knocks.” There are a lot of people that have attended classes there and come out winners. Are you one of those students? What skills did you learn and continue to have? Can those skills be used to help someone else? Have you ever considered that YOU have something to offer? You do. Everyone does.
Think about a goal for yourself. Take your age out of the thinking process. Age is only a number. The skill you have to offer may change someone’s world. You don’t see it, because you aren’t looking. In fact you aren’t even thinking of anything you have to offer. You do.
One of the reasons that young people in today’s society don’t know many skills, outside of the electronic world, is because they haven’t been around anyone who can show them. Gardening, quilting, cooking, auto repairs, you name it. People today need to be subjected to skills they don’t have.
Reinvent yourself. Age doesn’t matter. Your purpose is what matters. Join Sallycares.com today and let us know what your purpose is and how you arrived at that conclusion. If you don’t have a purpose and need one, send us a message at “Contact Us,” and let’s figure out some ideas to think about. You have all the power! “Now, let’s get going!” xo Sally
I love reading quotes that are anonymous ...mostly because someone thought that a statement or a thought needed to be in print, because it mattered. Whether it mattered to them, to someone that they knew or whatever the situation was, just think about this one for a minute.
Living in Southwest Florida for the past 18 years, I know a little something about the aging process. People in Southwest Florida are an amazing bunch. For the most part they are in better health and can run rings around their counterparts up north. I think it is because they get out more and are more active, and the weather usually works in their favor.
But, when challenges strike, there is a lot of frustration and I have heard "We worked for the ability to retire, and I never thought this would happen" or "these "Golden Years" sure aren't what they are cracked up to be."
Every day you wake up you have one more chance to make your circumstances better, as well as your attitude about your situation. Let's put it this way, don't think for a minute that you don't have a purpose on this earth that is greater than what you may perceive it to be today.
You may not know why you are going through a hardship right now, but there are blessings in your life that you aren't paying attention to, because the negative energy has gotten ahold of you. Shake it loose. Think positive. Be grateful. What have you learned to be grateful for through your challenges as a patient or care partner? Tell us about them. Let us know if we can help you through Contact Us. You can change the negative to positive ! I believe you can do it!
"Now, let's get going" xo Sally
We all know people who complain. We may be living with one or two of them. Why do we say "can't"? Well, an aggravated patient or care partner would have a quick answer.
"I just cannot do it."
First we have to decide if you physically can't do something, and if there is a reason for it. People who are paralyzed can't do some things. People who have dementia realistically can't handle certain activities. What is it that you are sure can't be done?
If the patient or care partner cannot do an activity, because they physically or mentally do not have the capability, that's a different topic. We need to know those kinds of problems and actually problem solve them one at a time.
If you are just sick and tired of something, and that's why you "can't" do it, then that changes the picture. What that means is that you don't want to do it, and there may be many reasons for that attitude.
Usually people decide that they "can't" do something anymore...or they just "can't" do it again. That is because there is some behavior that continues to surface that you are tired of. Is it the patient's behavior? Is it the care partner's behavior? Is it a combination?
The old line, "It takes two to tango," is really true. If one of you is fueling an attitude with negativity, there needs to be a change. Let us know what that is. Change is good...when it is productive and the outcome makes a situation better. What is your struggle? Tell us your issue on our blog, or send us an email through Contact Us.
Never believe that "Can't" cannot change to "Can."
"Now, let's get going" xo Sally
Spend this weekend looking for beauty in the things around you, because they are all around you. Enjoy this inspirational writing by Tara Sophia Mohr:
I’m always looking for new ways to wake up to the life in front of me. This week I started playing with the idea of “five beautiful things.”
In any moment, particularly if I’m feeling stressed or out of sorts, I look for five beautiful things in my midst. I really look at them. I take them in—not just with my eyes but also with my mind and my breath and my heart. I spend a few moments just looking.
This morning, I’m in a bustling café. It isn’t particularly beautiful. But in a moment of feeling kind of bummed out and rushed and anxious, the thought popped up: look for five beautiful things.
The moment I raise my head, I see the red-gorgeous leaves of the trees out the window. Intensely rich as a bowl of dark cherries. Hovering slightly in the wind, patiently waiting for our attention.
Bold and unapologetic as they wait. Had I looked at them before this morning? Yes. Had I seen them? No.
Next, the face two seats down from me at the café. Clear pale, freckled, trustworthy, unusual and familiar feeling all at once. Beautiful.
The bright green skirt of the woman walking past me, the green of summer.
The photos above the espresso bar, which I’ve seen at least a hundred times before. Three in a row, frame in arches. In looking at them I start to appreciate the miracle of someone taking the photograph, and the miracle of someone else framing them that way, the miracle of someone conceiving a design for this place. And then I start to feel the miracle that it is all here, and I’m here too. The miracle of a Saturday morning that is, that is now.
By the time it’s time to look for item number five, everything is looking beautiful. The white coffee cup is beautiful. It’s all starting to feel vibrating and alive and miraculous and now. (And I’m not even caffeinated yet).
So number five is, shockingly, the stop sign, right outside the window. It’s become stunningly gorgeous sometime in the past five minutes. It probably couldn’t have been beautiful thing number one, but through these eyes it’s a vibrant red. It’s the perfect shape composed above the green vines below and the brick building behind.
I’m left with this: There’s a way in which life is about looking. Looking closely. Looking with the intention to see beauty. Looking with curiosity and alertness. Looking with reverence for now.
Looking changes everything.
Right now, before you finish reading this post, and click over to the next window, will you find five things of beauty, of striking mystery, in your midst? Five things that are amazing out of their aliveness? Start with one or two, and take them in through your eyes, your mind, your heart and your breath. Spend a few moments with each, and the rest will take care of themselves. What does “life is about looking” mean to you?
Visit Tara’s web site for more inspirational messages: http://www.taramohr.com/
Do you have anything left to give? Do you feel that your days are filled with giving, and you don’t think you could possibly do more?
There is a saying from somewhere that you may be familiar with and it goes something like this:
“If you need something done right away just ask someone who has a lot to do. They will get it done.” Why would that be a good idea?
People who are actively involved in organizations, whether it is a non-profit group that does a good service for a community, like Meals on Wheels, or your local humane society, they are busy people.
They don’t add one more commitment to their list because they have little to do. To the contrary, if you ask someone who is an active volunteer, what they do all day, they will give you a list.
I have found that when people retire, and their schedules revolve around their golf game tee time, when they get their hair or nails done, or watching TV, eventually there is an emptiness that they never had when they “worked.”
We all need a purpose. We are at our best when we have something to focus on outside of ourselves and our current circumstances.
I know many caregivers that continue their volunteer work, even if their loved one at home requires a great deal of care. Why?
Getting out and providing a service is motivating to many people. It fills the soul with a sense of changing someone else’s situation. That alone is healing for the person doing the giving and the person who is receiving.
Consider looking around your community and see what you could do to help someone else.
Get up and Get Out! Get out of your own way!
Don’t allow your present circumstances to promote negativity! You’re the one that controls that!
Send us your thoughts through “Contact Us” and let us know how you are doing. Join the www.Sallycares.com Community.
Together we can support each other and accomplish AMAZING things! “Now, let’s get going!” xo Sally
The concept of family can bring warm emotional sentiment, either from past memories, associated with those we have loved that are no longer with us or our current loved ones that we look forward to spending time with. Yet some are not so fortunate. When you have family members that create difficulty, have “issues,” or make your life down-right miserable, those family members do exist too. How about when you have to take care of those family members when illness strikes? That’s exciting.
Illness is an interesting thing. Families really show what they are made of. Living in Southwest Florida for the past 19 years, I have had an interesting journey of awareness related to aging and family.
The majority of people I have met, who have retired to Florida do not seem to think that they can expect their children to help take care of them. There are some families who have adult children that get involved, and come to Florida to help manage an illness or elective surgery, like a hip or knee replacement. But as a whole, our society seems to function on everyone “doing their own thing.” And this is what I have seen from families who get along. When there are poor relationships between parents and children, the older folks (parents) really are on their own.
My point in sharing this thought is that only you know your history with your family relationships. It is not too late to improve communication with your family members, especially with your children. I think every family has their stories, good, bad and ugly. Most children may remember certain times when they were growing up that there were family problems, and it is easy to allow those old memories to excuse your involvement with family members today.
The message here is that family ties are special opportunities. You have the capability to nourish those relationships, and if you don’t keep in contact with your family members, you can’t expect your family members to always be the ones to work at keeping a relationship active with you. Pick up the phone and call your sister! Call your Mother or Father! They won’t be here forever.
Even if you don’t love your parents or siblings, you can still be kind. Learn to be Self-less in a Selfish world. You can start where you are.
The only thing you owe your parents is to provide them with a safe environment as they age, and it doesn’t have to be in your home.
Let us hear from you through Contact Us. How do your family members relate? Is it healthy? Join the www.Sallycares.com Community today!
“Now, let’s get going” xo Sally
“The only thing you can control is what comes out of your mouth.” Sally Thimm, Sallycares.com
Surely you can relate to how you feel when someone says things that make you uncomfortable. How about when people say things that make you feel badly about yourself, or angry towards the person that is doing the criticizing?
We all have to keep that same feeling in mind, when we are doing the talking. When you get frustrated you need to remember that you cannot control many of the things that are frustrating you. The good news is that you CAN control what you say and you CAN control how you act.
To be successful with developing control, you need to be aware that your behavior and comments are most likely in response to specific feelings that YOU are dealing with. If you are feeling unappreciated as a caregiver or unhappy with your current life circumstances, own that.
Being in a difficult situation does not mean that you have to give up happiness. You need to decide what things would make it easier for you to cope with your situation or manage your circumstances differently, to give you time to do some things for yourself.
Give yourself this challenge: the next time you feel yourself losing the ability to control what you are going to say, close your mouth . Think about what needs to change to make you more positive. Your comments may be stirring the pot. Your reaction may be making a situation worse. Let’s get past this. Join Sallycares.com today and let us hear from you through Contact Us!
Join the Sallycares.com family. Together we can support each other and accomplish AMAZING things! “Now, let’s get going!” xo Sally
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