Caregiver Overload: How to Avoid Bursting Into Flames
Meet Lisa Huening:
Lisa Huening is the founder of The Shifting Path. As a public speaker on caregiving, her mission is driven by the passion to help others and through her own personal experience of the devastation that can occur when a family member is in crisis. Lisa is a member of the board of directors of the Saratoga Senior Center and the Senior Adult Legal Assistance organization, where she advocates for caregivers of the elderly through caregiver and elder education. She holds a master’s degree in Human Services focusing on families in later life as well as master’s degree in Education. She is a member of the American Society on Aging, The National Council on Aging, the National Organization of Human Services, and the National Alliance for Caregiving.
Caregiver Overload: How to Avoid Bursting Into Flames
Are you aware enough to recognize when you are experiencing caregiver overload? You may be fighting the fires of crisis after crisis in caregiving and yet not recognize when your own burnout is occuring. Some signs of burnout include: trouble sleeping, often feeling teary, an unusual amount of marital discourse, not feeling sociable with family and friends, depression, guilt, anxiety, anger, physical problems of your own surfacing, fatigue, and having to change your employment hours due to caregiving needs.
Being present, and connected is about the way you show up each day for yourself and for others. It isn’t always easy being present as a caregiver because there are so many things to worry about, especially when you are raising your children and taking care of aging parents. However, caregiver burnout is a very real issue and when you are going through the motions, not being aware, It can easily happen to anyone.
Strategies to Reduce Overload include:
If you are unsure what you need and where to begin, you can hire a Case Manager to come in a do an assessment of your caregiving situation. However, you want an assessment that is as just as much as about you as it is the person you are caring for. From there a plan of care can be developed with action items to get your caregiving on track. A plan of care executed well is with a team approach in mind.
Set Limits – Recognize what you can and cannot do in your caregiving role. Making compromises and adjust your expectations. And be willing to ask for help.
Work with the care receiver - Your parent or spouse should be part of the process. Talk to them about their wishes without controlling them. For example: work with your loved one to develop a list of questions for the doctor prior to an appointment.
Have Family Meetings - to discuss problems large and small as well as future needs to be better prepared. Planning ahead will avert some crisis. Treat these like business meetings with an agenda contributed by family members ahead of time so that everyone feels their concerns are being addressed.
Recognizing your own denial – This is a tough one, there are things we just don’t want to face as our parents or loved one ages. Someone from outside your family will often be better able to recognize problems and ways to fix or manage them. For example: someone with early stages of dementia is able to often hide the signs from other family members particularly if the person doesn’t live with a family member. We may want to think that our parent is handling things better than they are and therefore delay care they may really need due to our own coping strategies. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t because you don’t care, its because this is an emotional process, its hard!
Take time each day to unplug - Reconnect with yourself and your needs. It can be 10 minutes to meditate, have a cup of tea in front of a fireplace or on the porch enjoying the outdoors. Maybe it is reading a book for 30 minutes, a bath, or a walk alone with your spouse.
Today – Practice Being The Best You That You Can Possibly Be In This Moment – It is More Than Enough.