The words we speak can have more power than we realize. We can be a positive force in people’s lives or a negative one.
It should be our goal each day to challenge ourselves to be the best we can be, and in doing that, choose the words we use with thought.
I know that it is hard when a situation is emotionally charged, to come up with words that are meaningful and convey the right level of thought and energy.
But we should realize that we already know that it is hard, and take a few extra minutes before letting the words come out of our mouth to pass this little test of three questions: Is what I am going to say: TRUE? Is it NECESSARY? Is it KIND?
So many times things are said in the passion of a moment, and we regret it afterwards. Try to picture three gates in your mind, and make your words pass through each gate as you go through your thought. If something you are going to say is something you heard, but don’t know if it is actually True, you become part of the problem. You may end up being associated with saying something that ends up not being true. Don’t lower yourself to that.
If something you are saying is not Necessary, why say it? How do you know if something is necessary? Think about the value that it adds to a conversation. If it brings no value, then don’t be associated with it.
Finally, is what you are saying Kind? You may find yourself in situations where you have to deliver a message or have a conversation where things need to be said that aren’t kind, but necessary and truthful. An employee performance evaluation is a good example. The skill behind delivering statements or information that will not be perceived as kind by another person can be framed in a learning experience format. That will allow you to convey the information with a sense of concern and awareness that your words may cause an individual to be uncomfortable. You can still be kind. In fact the person may walk away and understand your message, just because it was delivered with thought and consideration.
It’s a skill that requires practice. Start practicing this weekend. Let me know how you do. Are you able to use these three “gates” to measure your words? Have a great weekend! “Now let’s get going!” xo Sally
